I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Still dying that you shit outside
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
