Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
