And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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