I can tuck mytits in my pants
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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