Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize