Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
