Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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