I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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