Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
