Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
