you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
