i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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