if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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