i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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