i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
