He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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