In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
