And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
