on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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