i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
