Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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