summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
