no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
