Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
