People in love make me want to vomit
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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