you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
