he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
