I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
