this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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