escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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