They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
