It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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