Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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