So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
