i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
