i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I love you.
Bad choice
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