hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
