im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
