it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
