You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
