the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
