I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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