every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
