You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
