This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
