the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
