Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
