is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That's intense
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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