Cold hands, warm shart.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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