i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I look better un-naked...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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