I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize