so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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