Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He better not be in your backpack
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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