let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
