This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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