I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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