nut hugger
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
