My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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