Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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