Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
