It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
